Christmas with adult children

Christmas was so much fun when my children were small. I used to feel like the best mum in the world when they opened whatever presents I had bought them and see their little faces light up with gratitude and joy. Their excitement was so contagious. Then I got the added pleasure of watching them play with said presents for days and weeks on end.

As my children got older, the cost of the presents didn’t become any less, but for me, the joy of Christmas did. Although my children were and still are, always grateful for what I gift them, the childish exuberance and excitement was now not cool, so the responses to gifts where very contained, and they disappeared off with their gifts, so I didn’t get to see them being used. Then the requests were for money and not gifts. I even did a bank transfer one year!

I found myself not getting so excited at the thought of Christmas anymore. I missed those feelings, and it reminded me that my children were growing up and didn’t need me as much.

A few years ago, my daughter bought her own house and with that was the start of her own Christmas traditions. Did I mind if they didn’t come down this Christmas? Well of course I minded, but I want my children to have their own Christmas traditions and excitement. I want them to feel like I used to when they were little.

Odd really as it’s just one day, and probably not even the most important day of the year for me, but I get nostalgic, and I want to hold on to those happy feelings forever.

Reflecting on it now, I wonder if my withdrawal from Christmas is felt by my children, as I no longer make a big deal of it. Maybe I could generate my own joy around Christmas where my feelings of joy aren’t reliant on others.

If your children are all grown up and you don’t feel that excitement around Christmas, maybe like me, you can create your own.

I would love to hear ideas on how you do it!

Lois

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